Hey there... I know its been a while...

So its finally all warm and sunny over here, praise be to God! And my life is starting to even look a little more brighter. Before I get started here's just a little update on my life... As you may know that I am upgrading my high school credits and working at Sushi Harbour for the summer, although I have never been this poor in so long I don't know what to do with myself to get money. Sushi isn't going as well as I had hoped as in I'm not getting many hours meaning hardly any money and no pay check until the end of the month. I also love you all and am finally starting to miss you all (sorry it took me so long) and reading every ones blog posts are just amazing and make me cry and praise God all at the same time!

After leaving our community of Kaleo I focused my efforts on building my relationship with Taylor and his family. He has now been gone tree planting for almost three weeks and I tell you, I have never missed a person that much in my whole life. Its been hard because he is out in the middle of nowhere so he only FB messages me once a week and I'm pretty sure he forgot his power cord for his computer so he is conserving power for the hole summer, and the messages I receive are no longer than 3 or 4 sentences. Sorry guys, I'm not telling you all this because I am engaged, but because I feel like I am so spiritually under attack like I have never been before.

Obviously I was sad when he left because 4 months is a long time to not see each other and we already felt like we didn't see each other enough this year. I felt more than just sadness; death, fear and doubt, a shadow that was constantly lingering around me. It felt like something bad was about to happen all the time and I could feel death, as weird as it sounds, it was heavy and dark. Everything I read or watched on T.V. had something to do with dieing. Lies filled my head at night and I would cry for hours as I struggled to find sleep. I even stopped eating which is unfathomable to me since I love food so much! Its been a battle to shake Satan off of me these past couple weeks, I know that none of this was from God and as I lied crippled by fear crying out to God, I could feel Him watching me but not saving me. On Saturday I finally broke down in front of Taylor's family and the support I got from them was amazing. But the darkness had not left me.

It is hard to explain. I think its because I'm in a really vulnerable state and when your already down that's when the enemy kicks you. Things have been better for almost two days now but I would appreciate your prayers so this thing won't come back. God is so good! I am really excited for this summer and don't know what to expect but God has been hinting at some pretty amazing things.
MUCH LOVE + MANY BLESSINGS