update

Hi family. I can't believe how much time has gone by since Kaleo ended. I wish we could have a chapel or something again just to be together. I've wanted to post on here for a while, but have been reluctant too. With things not going well I find it hard to write about whats going on honestly. I wish I could tell about crazy adventures and what not. I guess I haven't wrote anything on here is because i'm scared too. As weird as that sounds. Alright I'll just go for it and if doesn't make sense well at least I got the courage to write whats been happening. Being at home has been a struggle. Being away for a year and a bit and coming back into life at home was a lot different than what I expected it to be. Theres a lot of things I know I could have done but didn't. I have no community here and it's been rough. I don't really know whats going on or really what to think anymore. I've put myself into a box and I'm finding it hard to get out of. I feel trapped and stuck. I worry way more than my own good and I think I have anxiety. The only time I feel at peace is when I'm asleep. I've been doubting in faith as well. It feels as though I forget what I learned in Kaleo. Coming back people just ask me now what and its frustrating. I've been going through a season of frustration and bitterness. I just feel judged all the time. I'm so lost with my future and I know I shouldn't worry and put it in God's hands but its a lot easier said than done. I guess I have forgotten to give everything to God. I'm just super stressed out. I need some prayer right now. There has been a lot of good in the time I've been back. But I feel it gets outweighed by my fears and worries. I've been able to see family so thats been good. I love them a lot but I feel that they don't even know me and then i feel like i'm being judged and i hate it. Hmm. My pastor gave me a book to read called the north face of God and it takes our spiritual journey and uses the image of climbing a mountain to relate to it. I feel as though I have staggered off the path. Meeting with him has been helpful. We talked about social justice and mission trips and it got me excited to talk about that. And because of that Briercrest has been in the back of my mind so I got in contact with them and I'm pretty sure (not 100% sure yet) I'll be heading there in january for the global studies program. It's not the place where i thought i would be going and i'm still so unsure but I think its a big step of faith in trusting God that He will take care of me. It's taken a lot of thinking and deciding so don't laugh at me haha. Briercrest friends you better show me the ropes. i'm counting on you. Well I really don't want to post this but I'm going to. I know its not that long or what not but it feels like weight has been lifted off in posting this. So take it as it is. But really I just want to ask for prayer. here's a lame joke to end on a good note. Where did Noah keep the bee's? In the archives!

update

so i went to emergency and they did a minor procedure there. i am much better now. in almost no pain, praise the Lord. after almost 2 weeks of near constant pain, this feels incredible. umm, still have to meet with a surgeon on december 9th and get a surgery date. not done this journey yet, but way more comfortable for the ride!

hey family.

okay, so i'm just gonna jump in. remember theology of mission and mount washington (the first time) and how i was on the couch all day, err day? well, the same problem is back except bigger and better. and by better, i mean worse. i've been to one class in two weeks cause i can't be on a couch there on my stomach and any other position is uncomfortable at best, unbearable at worst. i've been on antibiotics for the last ten days and while they have brought the infection down, they have not eradicated it and have left me nauseous for the past few days. as a result, it's been decided that i'm going to emergency tomorrow to have a hospital take a look and see if they can do something. i'm also scheduled to meet with a surgeon on december 9th.

it's really taken a toll on me and i am frustrated. i want to be able to walk and sit and stand comfortably. a lot of times, i have quite literally forgotten what comfortable is. the worst part is remembering that last time, i had all of you around me and this time you're not here.

God's heard a lot of whining and pleading from me these past few days but despite many many prayers that this would be taken away, He has not seen fit to remove this affliction. i'm trying to praise Him in the storm but it's hard.

so if you all could pray that surgery wouldn't be a far off thing and that this problem would be dealt with once and for all, that would be awesome. also pray for a minimum of pain in the next few days.

thanks guys.

(trying to) Rest

Catch Us If You Can!

We have seen many of you in the past while, but many we haven't, so I thought it was time for a post. In the past couple of months, we have traveled from Nova Scotia to Victoria, and down to California and back again. If you would like to read about our experiences, you can do so at my personal blog, at http://jimbadke.blogspot.com. It was a good journey, especially as it became a tour of students with a little sight-seeing thrown in. The highlight was definitely visiting with about 90 Kaleo students from all the years, many of whom we have not seen in a long time. We are sorry to have missed seeing the rest of you, and hope that happens soon!

We are back in Victoria, house-sitting and anticipating what God has next for us. To this point, we have no idea what we will be doing after these next few weeks. Mostly, that has been okay, with moments of panic tossed in, and really it has been the story of these past few months. At one point, I think someplace in Ontario, I was sitting in church and the question flashed up on the powerpoint, "What does God want you to do?" So I threw that up to him and said, "Okay God, what do you want me to do?" The answer came back immediately and clearly: "I want you to travel across Canada and visit students." "But God," I said, "that's what I'm doing!" He said, "Exactly."

Waiting on God is not very comfortable, but it is good.

Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:30, 31 ESV).

So, youths and young men, watch out - here we come! Expect us to fly, run or walk by you sometime soon! I am glad that we have not been just waiting around, but God has always given us significant things to do, in anticipation of what he has for us next. Someone was praying for me recently, and he said I should focus more on what God is doing, and not on what he is not doing. So, what is God doing?

Since our return to Victoria he has given us people to visit and experience mutual encouragement with; he has given us a great little church to fellowship with and to witness what he is doing there; and he has given me words to write.

Yes, I am living up to the name you gave me and I am being a Scribe! As well as daily communications and my own blog, I have been writing what may become a book someday, averaging about 1000 words a day. I guess I am about a third of the way through, and that is all I am going to tell you for now!

So, we will appreciate your prayers and we LOVE hearing from you! We will be sure to update you about where God directs us. Love and miss you all!

One more video to join the ranks!

Hey all!

This year's Kaleo has done their OT Lit video! If you want to check it out, here's the link:

http://kaleo2012.blogspot.com/2011/11/old-testament-creative-project.html

Love you all!

Holly

Fun times!

Hey Everyone, I realize I've been posting lotsa stuff lately, whether it be me or other people on my computer (cough) but I wanted to let everyone know that I had my surgery for my Hernia yesterday, and while I'm quite sore, I am thankful for the gift of strong pain killers! I also think that more people should post on here. It doesn't have to be an update every couple of months, this blog is here so that we can be chatting together! It's definitely a good way to share our good times and bad times as we go through life, and most of us still check this blog lots. I love hearing from you guys, whether it's tough stuff, or you're at the top of the world, and I know I'm definitely not the only one: so talk!