Chillin at the Badkes

Hmm.. I've never posted on here before. This is fun. I'm sitting at Jim's house with Anna W, Heidi, Erik, Bryan, Holly, Sarah, Lauren, Claire (K7), Jim and Sarah. Last night we had visits from Bret and Mary and tomorrow Kristine is coming up. I'm excited to see a bunch of you tonight on skype too!

There's nothing particularly relevant for me to blog about.. Just wanted to try it out mostly. I've had an interesting and busy week. The only day I didn't work was Tuesday - and I spent almost the entire day trying to figure out with police and insurance and repair shops how to fix my car that was broken into. I felt a certain freedom with being home, though. Kind like I have life while I'm there (Vivacious! haha). But also noticing the positive change in myself, just in the way I handle myself with interactions and daily problems.

I was wondering whether I should say this or not but I will: Since coming back to Crofton here, I've felt suddenly burdened down again, with lies and darkness creeping in, festering. It's rather weird. I think I'm gonna go home this afternoon. I love these people a lot, but I need to get out.
I think part of it is that, here (and some other places), you feel love primarily (if not only) when you are hurting. I was very much a 'patient' at Kaleo (one of the many things I really didn't like about it). I felt like I was loved because I was hurting. And yes, I still struggle. But since being home I have been very okay. I really like being okay. However, right now I feel like I suddenly need to not be okay. It's an urge from within to destroy myself somehow. Maybe I'm just used to being in a dark place. Or maybe I'm just crazy. Probably both.

I apologize if none of that made sense to you. It doesn't really to me, either. Regardless, I have had an incredible past week. I love you guys so much, but feel rather guilty that I haven't been missing any of you very much. Probably just haven't had time to miss you. It'll come, I'm sure.

On another quick note, I know it's nothing huge, but if you want to pray for me, please pray I will be less stressed about money. I do have a job, and I know most of you don't, so I shouldn't be complaining at all. But this past week has cost me 700 bucks and my cars gonna need another 450-500 of repairs within the next couple days. I figure I'm just gonna park it and bike everywhere for the summer. But yeah, the only tension within my family this past week has been caused by me and my stressing over finances. I really just need to relax, be smart about it but trust for the Lord's provision.

The abundance of posts on here lately makes me smile. I've been praying for you all that have written or I've spoken to and would love to talk to more of you (skype or phone) when ever you feel like it! If you're bored or sad or excited, and it's the evening, text me up!

Love,

Meghan

Lots of Love

Well, I haven't been on my computer much since I've gotten home, so as I read through all of these blog posts this morning, it hit me how much of my heart is attached to you guys. I've been thinking of you guys alot all week, but I guess just hearing your personalities come through in what was typed made me miss you all the more. Nevertheless, I am excited for the work that God is going to be doing in and through everyone, like Bryan's baptism! PTL :D
On that note, can I ask you guys to keep praying for my heart. I just feel like it's gonna be easy for me to turn back towards being nominal in my faith by not turning my thoughts into actions, and really, if I don't put into practice what I've learned in this year then I am pretty much blowing the biggest investment that I've ever made in my life. Through this year I've realized what it is to put your treasures in heaven, and that earth's draws and lures have nothing on what is waiting for us. But still, I feel the temptation just to abandon joy for my temporary satisfaction, because that is what I tried to fill my life with so much before. So again, prayer for what I give my heart to and where I focus my eyes would be fantastic!
Christ has risen! What a saviour we have that loves us so. My pastor talked yesterday about the stone that covered Jesus' tomb being rolled away. Later we read that Jesus was able to walk through walls, so why not the stone? This was not moved to let Jesus out; nothing on earth/no scheme of hell can hold God back. Rather, it is for our benefit, to let humans in, so that we could see the power of God. The pastor brought in the Scripture about the stones crying out praise to God even when humans doubt. That wasn't the whole sermon, but I thought that'd be good to share.
Anyways, we had family over yesterday for Easter too, so I should probably go help clean. Love you guys all very much, and I hope to be part of the next skype chapel!
Logan

Reporting To You From The Plains of SK

Hello my Kaleo family!

Well, right now I sit on my deck by my pond (which I think could be mistaken for a pool) with the rushing of a waterfall and the sound of chirping birds. Beautiful.

This past week has been in some ways strange, but good. Strange in the aspect of leaving BC and returning to my SK home. Also, in the aspect that I love you guys and I do deep down miss you but I haven't sobbed tears over the matter, and for some reason I feel guilty about it. I do not take for granted though my time with you guys or the community, I know it was and still is a great blessing. So the good part... good in the aspect of seeing friends and family once again. Also see my church family. I didn't realize how much I missed them. I am excited to see what ministry opportunities will arise this summer.

So, when I got home I learned that the job I wanted, the gardening job, the deadline had passed to hand in my resume, and also for a tourist booth job I was thinking of doing. To be honest, I felt overwhelmed. But I had decided before coming home that I would depend on God to help me get a job, and one that would fit with his will for the summer. So I thought that these jobs just weren't meant to fit. I did email the guy for the gardening job and asked if I could still send in my resume. I got a reply, and actually he asked if I would be willing to work the months of May and June, no resume needed. To me, this is a God-send, this enabled me to work at camp and be in my hometown for awhile, and try to head up that social justice movie thing. So praise God!

Also, today I shared at my church. A testimony of my year I decided I would do. I talked about grace, what I learned this year, community, and the difficulties. I didn't know though that the pastor, PJ, decided to do the service on grace. I had sent my testimony to PJ to see if that is what he wanted and he said he liked it but didn't tell me about the grace factor. Who would have ever thought! Crazy how God orchestrates things. So I got up there with a very, very large and humongous crowd of 50 people (haha). I was composed, talked slowly (which I have a problem with), but then I started to do the usual... I started getting teary-eyed which eventually broke into a few sobs. But my tears are evidence of how much I love you guys, but also of how much God has softened my heart and how life-changing this year has been to me. To be honest, even though I cried in front of 50 people, I was totally okay with it. I guess Kaleo prepared me for that.

Well, I am excited to see what will happen with you by God working through you. I suck at remembering but I will be praying for all of you. I keep thinking of Genesis 12 where Abraham is told of being blessed so he will bless others. I think that is us. We have been greatly blessed this year with one another so that we in turn can be a blessing to others. Love you guys so much!

Lanaynay

Oh! Here is a link to my little "speech":

http://lynnea-heart-body-and-soul.blogspot.com/2011/04/end.html

Prayer

Hey guys just wanted to ask for some prayer. It's only been a week since I have been home and its strange how easy old feelings and disdain rises up. Right now I feel as when I first entered Kaleo. Everything feels shallow and nothing matters.

I'm struggling and if you could pray for me it would be much appreciated

Skype Chapel!

We had even more people join us for skype! 'Twas a lot of fun talking with Anna M., Heidi, Lynnea, Meghan, Bryan, Holly, Jim, and Jocelyne (she is the skype symbol) all at once, and we had a wicked good prayer session together as well. We all got to listen to each other lift up prayers to God, and Heidi mentioned "It's like chapel... except not", which basically sums it up. We have decided that we should make a facebook event to coordinate another Skype chapel, and you are all invited. It was incredible to see people and hear their wonderful voices once again, and I wish more people were there. The more the merrier! (*cough* Jordana *cough*)

P.S. if you have anything newer than the original skype, Jim just might call it "stupid skype"

Love you all so much, hope to skype with you soon :)

Good News!

So I keep forgetting to post this and its really important so its bad that I keep forgetting. But I just wanted to let you all know that my Sister is doing fantastic! She's out of the hospital and is able to take care of Audrey. Thanks for your prayers everyone!

But right now there is Meghan, Erik, Holly and I are skyping Anna M. and Lynnea and having a grand ol' time :)

so it's 2:30 in the morning. I can't sleep, and I wish with all my heart that i was in my little bed with my 3 roommates, surrounded by brothers and sisters who I could go to and ask for prayer, even in the middle of the night.

I kind of expected it to be tough eventually. But these old familiar lies are settling on me again. And I want to throw them off because they are LIES. But then that sneaky little voice whispers "what if they're true...". And then I don't surrender the lies, because the growing dread that they might really be truth keeps them there. And then I begin to live like the lies are true...and that's never glorifying to God.

I need to make better decisions.

I need to walk in a manner worthy to the calling to which we have been called.

I need to remember who I am in Christ.

I need support. please.

miss you guys with all my heart.

Cup Full

Most amazing thing happened tonight! We flew to Regina, found ourselves on the same plane as Tim Stabell and his wife who drove us to Caronport, moved into Wes and Faith Olmstead’s house, had dinner with Jim & Anne Paulson, and the after dinner Jim says he needs to go to the grad rehearsal and hand out robes, so we go there and he pushes a door open and a whole bunch of people start yelling – and I realize they are all Kaléo students (and most of the rest of the prof’s) from all kinds of years and places who have gathered there to see us and honor us...

It was very overwhelming.

They said a whole lot of encouraging things, the school awarded me with a plaque making me an “Honorary Alumnus,” and we worshipped together and they prayed for us and we had amazing desserts. We talked and talked. Even Nicki was there, the sneak (just saw her last night and she breathed not a word)! And I told them all about you – to the whole group and individually to some of your ParaKaleo’s (Bret, Jesse really loves you, has been praying for you all year and is definitely part of what happened, and Logan, you and Ben need to get together).

Grace, grace, grace, grace, grace. Wow, I’m so out of words. Miss you very much, even more after tonight!

sorray... I'm posting again.

I want to write you all letters and I can't find the address sheet cause I haven't unpacked much yet.

TELL ME YOUR ADDRESSES.

I love you all and I've been crying tears for every single one of you.

Hey Kaleo,

First of all I miss you all so much. Being at home feels weird and lonely, i haven't even been home a full 24 hours yet and I'm already at a loss of what to do with myself. I miss not having you guys around and my car is dead, thanks to Alberta winters and my dad having a little mishap while trying to boost it, so for the next few days I'm kinda stuck. Anyways on the bright side of things I was really worried about finding a job because I wasn't sure if the pharmacy I was previously working at needed any more employees and I was really dreading looking for a job with all the other college students just getting out of school recently. My one friend has been looking for a job for weeks and handing out numerous resumes and has yet to hear anything. The whole job thing was like a burden looming over my head (and i haven't even been home a full day, but my parents keep bringing it up) so i was just sitting in my bed this morning and praying that God would open the door for a job, and i was going to trust him and stop stressing over it. Literally two minutes later the phone rang and it was my boss from the pharmacy, he had heard somehow that I was home, and he asked if I could come work for them again. Anyways its just a small thing but it just reminded me that when we trust God he will provide.

once again i miss you all so much!!

Praying for you all

Love Jocelyne

Kaleo Is Like A Tree

Hey everybody, I wrote a blogpost about everything going on lately, I encourage you guys to read it. Has a message for you all at the end of it. Miss you lots, love you even more.

http://erikkarklins.blogspot.com/

well, i'm home. and not so stoked on it.

I would much rather be with all of you once more. I don't even know what to say other than I miss you right down to the very core of my being. I don't think I've ever cried so much in one day. Everything reminds me of you guys.

Please pray for me. It's been really hard to be home. And I feel like I'm really battling. So yeah.

I love you all. Thank you for being a part of my life. If you ever need a place to stay here on the mainland, you're more than welcome!

It's Saraii

KALEO EIGHT!!!! It is really weird thinking that just 8 months ago I posted on this blog introducing myself and in just those eight months I have changed so much. I don't remember who I was before you all. At times it was hard but I just wanted to say that sitting at home with messages from friends that all want to see me, all I can think of is you guys. I miss you all. Every last person. Can't wait for supper in Heaven. ps. spelling my name with my hips is just awkward without you guys.

Grad Slideshow

This is the slideshow (plus a few) that we showed at the banquet at Grad (and that you couldn't see too well on the screen). In quite random order! Miss you, and this makes me miss you more!

salty eyes.

This is one of the hardest days I think I've ever lived through. I feel like I just broke up with 20 something people. My eyes have been salty all day, I would tell stories to my parents and would just cry and cry. I even cried when I told them about janjan pooping on the floor!

I'm scared and fragile and tired and worn out. I feel really ridiculous for feeling these things. I don't want to see anybody and I just want to cry. I love you guys all a lot more than I realized. Home is a scary place, although I'm surrounded by so many supportive people.

Tonight I arrived home and immediately went to hang out with Erin Wagner. It is so nice to have someone who knows what Kaleo is like. We talked and cried and shared pictures. She is a real blessing.

That being said, I don't know how I'm going to handle being home. I scare myself so please keep me in your prayers.

I love you all more than words could express. You guys have changed my life.

Prayer Request

Hey K8,
Remember that friend I was telling you about during my testimony, the one I've always been pretty close with? He's the one I feel like I should be sharing Jesus with. I'm sorry to be such a downer right after we (almost) all got home, but please pray for this friend. His name is Alec.

Right when I was getting off the ferry in Tsawwassen, I got a call from Alec. He told me he was in the hospital and sounded pretty drugged up. He was on vacation with a few friends in Mexico and he said he somehow fell off a balcony and broke both of his legs. He thankfully had the right travel insurance so it's not going to be a financial burden on him. He got surgery on both of his legs while he was in Mexico, but apparently the surgeons did a terrible job so he had to have it done again back home. He told me he wouldn't be walking for about 2-3 months.

I told him I'd be praying for him, which is already something I've never done before. He seemed really shocked by it but really encouraged at the same time. Please pray for Alec, Kaleo, because I'm not going to be around for long enough to really be a light to him while he's suffering. I'll be at camp doing advanced crew and counseling while he'll be at home in a wheelchair.

Thanks guys,
Steve

Home, Sadness and a GiG

Well I'm home and it just doesn't feel real or right. Every time I think of you guys my eyes well up with tears and it's taking everything to fight them (I'm failing right now). I look through pictures a wonder where God will take you all and if I will ever see you again (I better...). I hate the fact that I can't control my emotions but it hurts so much, I love you guys.

On a happier note I received my tax return for last year and do to a mix up by my mom (she does my taxes for me) I am getting about $2500 from the government!
God is Good.

I love you guys and miss you so much.

Stay in touch.

Bryan Converse

India

Thanks for your prayers!