So just a quick post. I have talked to many in you in recent days and my life does not need to be dictated in insane detail because it is pretty uneventful.
I am just worried because I literally have no accountability here at home. My three best friends are moving across the country for the summer and my brother is going on tour and it is really easy for me to bask in the freedom of being nineteen. Nothing too serious at all, but enough to make me lose touch with the Lord.
Old doubts are resurfacing, old personality traits that I thought I had conquered, old bad habits that I am constantly indulging and trying to justify, and just a lot of anxiety and fear that I can't place.
I know I need to find a way to have a community of believers around me here but it is honestly so hard when I work full-time and do music and stuff on the side. My church is huge and scary. I don't like going. My brother's new relationship is weird and although I love his girlfriend it is hard for me to be around the kind of person he becomes when he is dating someone. Not to mention how it has been tough befriending his new girlfriend when I somehow feel like I am betraying Blythe. I say this all only because Blake has been the only person I have been going to church with in the last couple weeks.
Basically I am typing all of this to say I need prayer. I am sick of being angry and anxious and apathetic and scared and confused. This is not who I really am but I have no one to help me out right now and I know that you guys will plead with the Lord on my behalf. I love you all so much.
5 comments:
I'll be praying for you, Bret. I think a lot of us (including me) are feeling the same way right now. Let the community of Kaleo always be there for you in prayer and encouragement as you try to find a solid community of believers in Victoria :)
It's scary, lonely and complicated out in the yard. So much easier in the greenhouse.
But, God didn't design you to stay in the greenhouse. You are made for the yard, shaped and crafted by him to do good and amazing works there, which he has already prepared for you to do.
Words from Jesus to his Father about you:
"I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world."
Here is the ticket, Bret: You need to not just cope in the world, but take it by storm. You not only need community; you need to create it. Give, do, speak, sing, write, encourage, comfort, challenge, invest, serve. Don't leave room for loneliness, boredom and indulgence. Be a channel of God's grace in this world. "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Love you, Bret!
Bret I miss you!! Your post really relates to how I am feeling right now too. I know how hard it is to find community when work is occupying your life and you feel alone and unsupported. I don't have any great words of wisdom for you because I myself have been struggling and failing with a lot of these things thus far (i guess my only advice is a lot of prayer and listen to what Jim says, he's the wise one :P). I just want you to know that you will be in my prayers and I love you.
Ya, I can't say it any better than Jim did, so I just want to let you know that I'll be praying for you Bret. I miss you my sister!
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