Sorry to post twice so close together, but I really really really need you guys to be praying for my family about their decision to let me go to Briercrest. I know a lot of you found out because I can't keep my silly mouth shut when I'm excited, but Wes called me during the last week of Kaleo and offered me a $7500 dollar scholarship if I decided to attend next year. This is sort of how it happened: Wes e-mailed me and asked me to phone him a few weeks ago. I had no idea what this was about and was really nervous. But he picked up and just asked me about India, and my summer plans, etc etc. The whole time I was like "Why is Wes Olmstead calling me and asking me about my life???" But then he said the reason he wanted to talk to me was because he got the scholarship committee to rush through my application and find a scholarship for me. They found one, he said. I wasn't supposed to know until June but he knew it was pretty critical for me to know so he decided to call me and tell me I won a 3-year-long scholarship to Briercrest, $2500 a year. This was TOTALLY undeserved and makes NO SENSE apart from the Lord. Having struggled with doubt all year long, he is proving himself faithful - for the billionth time - that he is here and he loves me and he wants me at Briercrest.
Anyway I told my parents about the scholarship and they weren't very impressed. They said it must be a "big honour" with little enthusiasm, all the while I was screaming in my head YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, IT IS SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT!!! I haven't talked with them much about it since then because I don't want to pressure them and I want to give them time to process this.
This is why I need your prayers so bad right now: I didn't know there was a deadline for me to let the school know whether or not I was planning to accept the scholarship and attend Briercrest in the fall. But Wes e-mailed me just now and told me I needed to let him know by May 15th (next Sunday). This doesn't give me a lot of time to explain this gently to my parents, and it doesn't give them a lot of time to decide. I am terrified beyond belief that they will say no. I am crying just writing this because I need to go to Caronport so badly, for many reasons, but I hate who I am becoming in this city. I miss learning about Jesus and I miss being in the presence of other believers and I miss having people hold me accountable and I am so scared of who I will become if I have to stay here.
I am currently living off my tips from the coffee shop and giving every first paycheck of the month to my parents to repay them for Kaleo, and every second paycheck in my education fund for Briercrest. I hope this speaks loudly to my parents about where my priorities are and how badly I want this. Please pray that the glorious Father will give me the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so that as I speak with my parents, they will come to know Him better. Pray that the eyes of their hearts will be enlightened so that they will know the hope to which He has called both them and myself. Pray that the enemy be struck down in his attempts to keep me from where I am 99% sure I belong (I would say 100% but I do not know the mind of God and He is confusing sometimes concerning His will for us). Pray against my own anxiety and tendency to flare up and speak to my parents harshly and disrespectfully when they are unable to understand the faith and my reasons for wanting to go to Saskatchewan next year.
I don't know what I'd do without you guys.
Love,
Bret
PS. Michael I am so sorry to be hogging the blog after your incredible post. Know that I read it with tears in my eyes and I am praying for you, brother.
4 comments:
It was very good to read this, and I might have cried alittle if I wasn't so tired from work, because its good to know that we struggle with similar things. I can only offer you a few things that have brought comfort to me: know that God has moved mountains bigger than your parents before and he can do it again, know that God will and is using your suffering to bring out a completion and to recreate you into who you were meant to be, and finally (the hardest one) is that people come and go. I'm sure you won't have the same group of friends around you forever and in fact it may seem like they change with the seasons however there is one friend who never leaves you and is your constant: God. Know that while I am loving being your friend and want to strength you in any way possible, I can only do so much and can only be with you for so long but no matter where you go or what you do, the Lord of the universe knows, loves, and cares for you. My Prayers are with you Bret!!
Will be praying, Bret! He is faithful, as you are coming to know better and better and better...
Bretski I miss you and can't wait to see you this next week baby! I'm coming to Victoria. Let's hang out and catch up in person.
Until then know that I am praying for you. And trust Bret. Trust. Trust that voice that you have learned is the Father's. Then obey that voice. Obey in the little things, not just the big things. I LOVE YOU!!! (and I love that you type in caps lock allll the time:) )
Praying for you my friend. Remember, if this is where God wants you to be, there is absolutely nothing that can stop it from happening! I look forward to seeing you in the fall Bretski :)
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