Direction

I had nowhere to go.

After my departure from camp Qwanoes, I was crushed. I havent felt this emotional in a long time. It was not because of my premature departure at camp, it was because I felt that I let down myself and others. Before this year my life was content. "Go to school, work, church and get married, thats life right?" Now its in chaos because i know better.

"What prompted you to go to Kaleo?" Some of you may have seen glimpses of my desire to change. My goal for this year was to find out what those changes needed to be. The first semester was difficult for me because I had trouble trusting in myself and others At one point in time I gave up and saw no point in trying. Where was God in my life? People continually approached me with a smile on my face and i brushed them off . I rejected them because I didnt want to accept the convictions taking place within myself.

At times during second semester, I felt I was taking small steps to change, however i was merely changing my external actions and not my interal thoughts. In my head I got caught up the small details such as Calvanism vs Arminism and predestination. The focus should have been on understanding the foundations of which my belief is founded on: God's Love for us. Jesus has said the greatest commandment is love; this is the principle in which Jesus taught us to live. You, the Kaleo body has shown me this this year through your actions.

Throughout this experience I learned to rely more on God. I have lived life planning and depending on myself while conforming to the norms of society. My success was defined from the worlds point of view not from the Bible. This experience has been an eye opener because it has pushed me out of my comfort to seek out God's will and rediscover myself.

I boarded the ferry that night thinking "I had no where to go". While lining up a guy helped me with one of my bags and we began to talk. His name was Aaron, a 21 year old living in Victoria. He was a single father who has been suffering from depression since his accident in 2009 which crippled him from working. We began sharing our testimonies and I discovered that he was a reborn christian. Soon enough I realized I was speaking into his life, telling him of God's desire to know him, the gospel, and the true meaning of being a follower of Christ. We both prayed and went our separate ways. His last words for me was: "Now go and live life the way God wants you to."

When I arrived at Tssawssen I realized i needed a ride to the mainland but saw no means of getting there. I looked around and saw an old classmate from two years ago, who happened to be there because his sister was five hours late. He offered to give me a ride and we began to share
our stories and process it. We discussed we, Christian's role in secular universities and how we ought to stand up for what we believe in. Can there be non theistic objective morality? Our priorities and the world's priorities differ; they cant overlap. Jim told me one day when he was dropping me off at the ferry. "A monkey cant grab the nut from the jar if he already has something in his hands." Let go Nathan.

As I fell asleep that night it all made sense.

The next day I attended the Apologetics Canada Conference in Coquitlam Alliance Church. I went in there with no expectations and was blown away. They flew in professors from the U.S. that covered issues confronting New Atheists to The Existence of God to why God allows suffering. It was enlightening hearing from educated Christians teaching from a critical point of view. That night ended with a high grade archeologist claiming to have found Sodom and Gomora (One of the last unmapped locations cited in the bible) I remember vividly a pottery shard they discovered on the site. On one side of the pottery was molten glass which at first glance scientists thought to be Trinite (A decayed substance that resulted from the Atom bomb) on the other side of the pottery was unscathed pottery. It was not Trinite; this artifact was discovered in the mid bronze age. It was interesting to get the holistic view, not just the theological but historical and geographical evidence. (If you want my full 2000 word notes on the conference let me know and ill give it to you)

A few days ago Jay confronted me with an opportunity. An anonymous donor has given me an a fully paid solo missions trip to Mexico.

I was blown away.

As I'm writing this to you the plane is landing in San Diego. When you have read this I'll be on my way to El Papalote by car and I am going to work with Northern Lights Ministries. I have left Qwanoes as a student of Kaleo but now im venturing to be a disciple of Jesus. I don't know what God has in store for me, all I can do is pray and have an open mind.

I also wanted to say I miss you guys dearly. Be safe.

Love, Nate

P.S. Make good choices!! ^_^