Update

Hey Y’all! (This is Bryan, as I dislike having to scroll to the bottom in order to find out who wrote the post).

Well since everyone has decided to give updates about what’s going I figured I might as well do the same. I will warn you, this blog post will not be a happy one and will leave you with questions that I cannot answer. Lets start with directly after Kaleo ended.

            When Kaleo ended I was on an absolute high for God and for life. Several of us had an amazing week at Jim and Sarah’s house just a few weeks after everything ended. That helped ease the void of being with everyone. After we went our separate ways I came home and was able to get a job working for a landscaping. Honestly, that was really tough as I was the only one the crew who spoke any English and I came from a totally different aspect of life, but it was work. After two months of that I was able to quit my job and start a new job on very same day. It looked like God was looking out for me. Getting that job turned out to be a live saver, as you’ll read later on.

            As the summer came to a close my faith waned, as I wasn’t seeing any answer to prayer and in fact getting the opposite of what I needed. My prayer to God was for real friendship with people and to not be so alone. When September hit I lost every friend I ever had, and when I say every friend I mean everyone. I would say that was the beginning of the decline into a deep depression. The only person who kept some semblance of being a friend was my brother. By November I was so tired emotionally and spiritually that my only saving grace was pouring everything I was into my work. I can remember the day and where I said goodbye to my faith. But I wasn’t so simple as just saying goodbye as by the time November came I was committed to going to the Dominican Republic for a missions trip with my church so I had to keep up appearances that I was this faithful Christian person that I wasn’t. December came and went and work stopped due to the cold weather.

Christmas came and went and in two weeks after I was off to the Dominican Republic. I was expecting this grand rekindling of Christianity and that I would come back a better Christian. But the mission felt hollow, we weren’t needed there, we were just there for the warm weather and to inflate our egos. I came back no better than before I left and was looking towards and month and half of no work and no friends. In that time I abused my mind with too much television and screens while abusing my body going to the gym 5 or 6 times a week. My mood got worse, plunging me deeper into a depression, and kept blaming God for my bad luck. At this time I was still trying to attend church hoping things would get better, but they didn’t. Eventually I stopped going altogether realizing it wasn’t getting any better.

By the time I quit the church it was nearing the end of February. Work had started again but I did little to improve my look on life. Eventually my mind was constantly filled with thoughts of suicide and death. Some days I would just go home, watch TV and wait for the next day. There were several times I had decided to end it and was poised to do so but back out a the last minute. Life had little meaning for me; I cared for nothing and felt nothing but loneliness and a deep anger at everything. I wrote on the blog often but every time I posted something I would delete it right away calling myself weak.

So from February until now I have slowly crawled out of this deep hole of a depression, hardening my heart to my own feelings and to those around me. I wouldn’t say I am completely better but I am doing better than before. I haven’t told anyone of my struggle simply because I don’t want them to know I think I am weak for not being able to cope. So I coped by myself hardening my heart away from everything. I don’t feel happiness, sorrow or pretty much any emotion, just cold calculations on what needs to be done. I live my life one week at a time with no future objective in mind. Sometimes I wish I could die, a tragic car accident maybe, but know that death is not in my immediate future. Right now in my life I don’t think, just do. I throw every ounce of energy I have into my work and just trying to make myself tired so that I don’t have the energy to even think in my free time.

So there you have it, my life since Kaleo summed up into a couple of paragraphs. It doesn’t seem adequate but it will suffice for now. I can’t really call myself a Christian anymore as I don’t go to church and can’t stand to be around anything related to Christianity as there is too much disappointment linked with it.

Thanks,

Bryan

           

Anapauo. Rest.

Can we please do a count of who all is dating someone because I feel like everyone is in a relationship! As such, I fully expect some reunions happening soon **wink wink**.

Heyo! I miss you all a lot. That's what I need to say first. I can't believe it has been over a year since I have seen so many of you.

Next, nothing much is new in my life. No boy or anything, but I am moving! I'm moving about 10 minutes from UBC and will hopefully be hanging out with Janet lots!

So this has been an interesting season. I, once again, am learning to rest. It seems this is going to be my lifelong lesson and I thank you guys for speaking that over my life. Yes, Jim, I'm thankful for the name now; it just took a little while!

Last year was really tough for me and more than anything, all I wanted to do was escape. And I didn't see it as escaping before or I was just denying that it was escaping. I just wanted to go to Briercrest and have good community and actually like my courses. But I needed to finish out my year at UBC. So I did that. And applied for Briercrest for the fall of 2012. However, once it came down to crunch time of accepting my bursary, it was clear to me (against everything I wanted) that I was to stay in Vancouver for another year. Even more, I was to stay in Surrey for this summer.

Family, this was the hardest thing for me to do. I love to go. I love to serve, but this summer, I was called to serve in a different way. It has been really hard for me to be in my job and be home instead of at camp or in another country, but there has been good. As well, I have learned to see the suffering as suffering for the sake of Christ because I believe that He has called me there and has me there for a purpose and so there will be attack. I've gotten to bring a coworker to church with me and she is going to bring a friend with her now. It's really cool to see God's hand in placing me at work just when she was looking to start going back to church. Please pray for the both of them.


Also really cool is that a friend of mine started coming to church with me at Easter and is still coming. She has been my friend (really more like a sister) for about 17 years now. Actually, a few of you have met her! Her name is Kylie! Anyways, she has never expressed an interest in church but is now coming pretty regularly! Pray for her salvation. The Spirit is changing her heart and He is drawing her; she just needs to take that final step.


So it has been hard, but good for me to be home this summer. I still wish I could have gone somewhere, but for me to be right where God wants me is the best place for me to be. And I am learning to rest in that.

Please message me or something if you want to know more of what God has been teaching me. This is just the tip of the iceberg!

I love you all and I would love to hear from you!

And a little treat from Hermeneutics:

Holly

Hey

Hey guys.

I've just been looking at some scripture and thought I would just share. Its not a lot, but it is a couple of verses that have really stuck out for me this past week.

" Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter or our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. " Hebrews 12:1-3.

Just something to think about.

I hope you are all doing okay. I would love to hear from anyone. It seems like forever ago and I think and pray for you guys often. But yes, I would love to hear how you guys are doing. Whats up in life. Your walk. All of those type of things. What  some future plans are. Share a verse or something that has been on your mind. Anything really. Blogposts aren't too hard to write. So with that I challenge all those who may read this just to post something. Some ideas i cant think of is a verse, an update, a joke, a youtube clip of something that struck you, a picture. I don't really know haha. I just want to hear how y'all are doing!

oh boy, oh boy!

Hey everyone!
I hope your summer is going well! So... me and Jocelyne are making a road trip to the Island in August! We will be leaving Medicine Hat August 15, and will back in the Hat around the 23. So we would love to see all you BC people! Just thought you should know :)

summertime visits

oh hey.

I'm coming to BC from august 12-17 and would love to see some of you! I'm staying at bret's so I'll be in vic but let me know if you want to hang!!

Love you all dearly.

Anna

INDIA!

To my dear Kaleo family,

It feels like ages since I have seen or even talked to many of you - this blog has been pretty quiet lately! I have been checking it occasionally and am excited about the things being posted-
Jim, the Lord's faithful hand is so evident in the way that He is leading you and Sarah - I couldn't be more excited about the position He has given you (Oh, and I randomly met a Colleen Sumner at work one day, who passed on her greetings to you!).
Sarah, I shouted "hallelujah" when I read the post about your dad. The Lord is doing miracle upon miracle in your family! :)

I apologize for my quietness over the past year as well - I've sat down a few times to write (after I finally remembered my log-in info...), yet somehow it feels insufficient. I'd much rather just all sit down around the couches in the lounge and share stories about our lives. But I suppose this willl have to suffice...

I'll begin with the most exciting news because I feel as though I might burst! After 2 1/2 years of waiting for when God would open up the door for me to return to my beloved India, He has graciously given me the privilege this summer! I leave on July 16 and will be gone for 5 1/2 weeks. It will look different than my past trips to India, as I will be spending the whole time at the school there for Dalit children. I will also be officially teaching them English, putting my TESOL classes into practice. It's a little intimidating, but I know the Lord will equip me for the task. Although when I originally felt called to go this summer, it looked like I would be going by myself, the Lord has provided my dear cousin Kathleen as a travel and ministry companion. As well, in quite a miraculous turn of events, my parents felt that this was the summer God wanted them to travel together to do God's work in Russia and India, so they will be there for the last two weeks of my time in India.
I cannot WAIT to return to the precious children at St. Paul's school.

I had my last day of work today, at a job that the Lord just placed in my lap a couple days after arriving home in April. My employer from last summer called ME as soon as she learned over Facebook that I was back in Vernon. I thought it would be impossible to find a job that would hire me for a mere two months, but she wanted me back for as long as she could have me. Praise the Lord.

The Lord is good. SO good. Kaleo was a year of tearing down a lot of things in my heart, tearing down idols and attitudes and ideas. This last year at Briercrest was a year of rebuilding. And the Lord taught me SO much. To Him be the glory.

I pray that our Father reminds you all today of who you are in Christ and the depths from which He has rescued each one of us and the things that He has taught us. May He give you the strength today, brothers and sisters, to live up to what you have already attained, to live boldly for the sake of Christ.

In His Name and for His glory,
Heidi

Hey guys! I can't believe it has been a year. I miss you all so much! What a great year. I encourage you to look at your yearbooks! :)

I don't know how many of you know, but on Thursday, April 26, Canadian parliament is going to debate the personhood of unborn Canadians. They will be discussing / debating what a human is and abortion. Please pray for this! Pray that they may know that abortion is wrong and that a baby is a human even though it is unborn. Please be praying for what will be discussed.

Here is an attachment for an article that talks more about it :

http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/canadian-parliament-to-debate-abortion-april-26

I encourage you to read it. There is more articles about this so look those up too.

Peace and love,

Mike

One Year Later

Amazing! It has been one year since Kaleo Grad 2011! How we miss you all, and have been so glad for every opportunity to hear from you and about you and to occasionally see some of you! Your progress in your faith is celebrated by us; your struggles are mourned and prayed for. "It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart and, whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:7, 8 NIV).

Also, it has been one year of transition for us: wrapping up our time with Kaleo; helping Anna through a tough transition; selling and moving out of our 100 year old house; giving up both of our dogs; two weeks in Ucluelet; another two in Kelowna; a month housesitting in Duncan and another in Victoria; a trip across Canada visiting 90 Kaleo students; then 8000 km of travel around New Zealand; and finally a month of volunteering at another camp on the Island.

So, what's next? Friday evening, I was sitting in a kayak on the quiet waters of Cowichan Lake with the sun warming my back, and suddenly I knew what we should do. So yesterday, I accepted the position of the Director of Camp Imadene's Auxano program. This is a discipleship program for young adults of college age, focusing on biblical training and service, running from September to April. The goal for the fall is about 12 students (they had 5 as a trial run this year) and I will work alongside two other leaders (like Kaleo's interns), who are yet to be determined.

Right now we are living in Honeymoon Bay (see? I can be romantic!) in a beautiful waterfront home that belongs to friends. We never get tired of looking out the window.

Love you all! We appreciate your prayers as we get started in a whole new ministry! May our paths cross soon!

My dad finally chose Jesus.

He Is Risen!

I don't have a ton of Scripture for this time, simply I wanted to share in giving praise to God. Thinking about the reality that the One who created us would come and die for us, it's been a good day for reflection. I don't remember if you guys remember Cal's illustration of the nutshell that he carried around in his pocket to remind him of how small we are to God. We live, we die, and we turn to dust, without any lasting significance to earth. And yet he came to earth in the form of a man, and died in our place so that we wouldn't have to, so that we could be reconciled. How can we ever give enough gratitude towards an act like this? How can we ever misplace the love that he has for us?

"For one will scarcely die for a righteous person - though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die - but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:7-8

I hope that today has been a day where the glory was given all to God, and that the rest of our lives continue to do so. Be encouraged and comforted by this love, this is no small act that God chose to give his life for us. And most of all, with your lives give praise; this free gift came at an increadible price.